Star Wars: Doctor Who and the Magical Time Lords
by timetravelingowl
Summary: Did you ever wonder what would happen if Doctor Who met Harry Potter and Star Wars? Well, it would probably go something like this...


**This script an adaption of a skit my two best friends and I wrote, mixing Harry Potter, Star Wars, and Doctor Who. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who. Or Harry Potter. Or-sigh-Star Wars. I do, however, own a TARDIS cookie jar, two sonic screwdrivers, a wand, and several lightsabers. So haha.**

Rose: (_sitting in her room, writing in a zebra-striped book with a bright red quill) _Dear Diary, today is going to end _horribly. _ I know, because today I got a letter from my dad. It said "Dear Luke, I am your father! You don't know the power of the Dark Side!" Okay, first off, I _know _he's my dad because I'm his _daughter_! Second: Luke? _Really_? Luke's my _brother! _And he's in _Slytherin_! I'm a Gryffindor! Urg! Third, all he _ever _says is "I am your Father!" and "Your lack of faith disturbs me!" and "You don't know the power of the Dark Side!" – Which, but the way, is the motto of his electricity company. It doesn't even make sense. Plus, he breaths weird. And he comes over _every _Sunday—this is the girl's dormitory, he's not even allowed in! And Sunday's my free day! I just hope he doesn't come soon. I'm not prepared.

Darth Vader: (_enters dramatically, cloak billowing behind him. He is brandishing a lightsaber_) Luke! I am your Father!

Rose: I know, Dad! And for the millionth time, I'm not Luke, I'm Rose!

Darth Vader: You don't know the power of the Dark Side!

Rose: Dad, I _do not _want to join your electricity company! You're business partner is Voldemort! He's a bad guy! And you're a bad guy! And I'm a good guy!

Darth Vader: You're lack of faith disturbs me

Rose: You know what, why don't you go talk to Luke…_all _the way on the other side of Hogwarts. _He _really wants to join your company. Go—GO!

Darth Vader: (_exits, sulking_)

Rose: Finally, alone…

The Doctor: (_enters energetically. He is over enthusiastic in his movements. He is wearing a shirt with the TARDIS on it and a bow-tie and a fez_) Amy! That's where you got off to!

Rose: I'm not Amy! My name's Rose!

The Doctor: Oh, hello Rose! Hey—how's that parallel universe?

Rose: What? Who are you?

The Doctor: I'm the Doctor, of course! Now, (_he pulls Rose's diary out of her hands_) I got a message on the psychic paper!

Rose: Wha—that's my diary!

The Doctor: Oh—sorry. (_picks up another book from the floor._) I got a message on the psychic paper!

Rose: What's psychic paper?

The Doctor: Don't be silly! Anyways, it says "Come to the Dark Side," which I assume means "come to the Pandorica"

Rose: What's the Pandorica?

The Doctor: It's a box!

Rose: You are kidding me!

The Doctor: Come along!

Rose: Why should I go with you? You're wearing a bow-tie!

The Doctor: Yeah. Bow-ties are cool.

Rose: (_groans but follows the Doctor_)

_They come to the Pandorica. It is a small shoebox with a post-it note saying "Pandorica." Messy graffiti says "Darth Vader waz here._" _Vader himself is asleep next to the box._

Rose: Darth Vader was here…my _dad's _the guard? Oh, come on! He's the most pathetic guard ever! Look! He's asleep!

The Doctor: Calm down, don't yell at me, it's not like _I _chose the guard! I'm braking into the thing!

Rose: could you hurry up? Today's Sunday, my free day! I want to go home!

_Darth Vader arouses. He points his lightsaber at the Doctor_

Rose: Dad—

The Doctor: Don't worry, I've got this! (_he pulls out the sonic screwdriver and points it at Vader. Vader immediately starts batting at the light, mesmerized by it) _This is a sonic screwdriver. But right now, it's just a pretty green light (_he opens the shoebox and takes out a glittery gold ball_. _he stops sonicking Vader and stares at the orb with wonder_) This is what I've been searching for, for all 907 years of my life…

Rose: Wow…does it blow things up? Or—or turn people into animals?

The Doctor: No…it's a bouncy ball! (_starts bouncing in it_)

Rose: Oh, come on!

Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father!

Rose: Oh, God. Can we please go home now?

The Doctor: oh, of course! Now, I don't have the TARDIS anymore—

Rose: Why not?

The Doctor: Oh, the Angels have the Phonebox—I've got that on a T-shirt! Anyways, I don't have a TARDIS, but I _do _have this! (_brandishes a small toy and starts playing with it_)

Rose: Cool! What does it do?

The Doctor: Nothing. But it's so amusing, I could stay in this time period for years, just playing with it!

Rose: Yeah, I guess you're right! Can I see?

The Doctor: certainly!

Vader: Nooooo! Luke! I must save you! (_throws himself in front of the toy and falls down the stairs)_

Rose:…I think he's dead.

The Doctor: I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

Rose: (_cheerily_) Well, that solves that problem!

The Doctor:...I am confuzzled.

**No time travelers, Jedi, or wizards were harmed in the making of this script. :)  
**


End file.
